Chapter One
London early summer 1236
Sarah sat contently on the cushioned seat in the stands, fanning herself as she looked out over the field and armor clad men who were filling her vision.
She felt her smile widen when her husband swiftly brought down his opponent, forcing the man to yield with very little effort on his part. Guy proudly sported the Kings colors as did half the men in the arena, but she knew for certain the man who was hers, for he wore her silken favor tied to his arm.
“Might I sit beside you?” a smooth voice came from behind.
Sarah turned her attention from the field for a second to gaze up at Robin of Milberk, greeting him with a bright smile. “Aye,” she answered, sliding to the side to make room for him.
Robin traveled with them to London and instantly formed a close bond with her husband. She'd known him no time at all. Even so, she could tell he was a good man. Robin seemed to be the sort of man her husband could rely on and trust.
“Why are you not on the field, Lord Milberk?” she asked when he sat down beside her.
“I thought it was best to remain in the stands this day,” Robin informed her, his dark brown eyes fixed intently on the melee before them.
“You are not a fighting man?” Sarah inquired, smiling brightly at her husband when he caught her eye for but a brief moment.
“I will admit that I enjoy the sport as well as any. It is my temper that keeps me in the stands.” Robin looked down at her beaming countenance freely, acknowledging the deep pride she held for her husband. It was a rare gift to love another so completely.
“Temper, you? I hardly believe it,” Sarah jested, brushing back a wayward strand of pale brown hair from her face, her eyes still locked on the field. It seemed to be growing warmer by the second. Even the rapid fluttering of her fan was useless against the unseasonable heat of mid-spring.
“Truly, my temper is one of my many faults,” Robin remarked, turning his eyes back to the field.
“I have not seen you as such a man. You have been nothing but gracious to myself and my husband. You must know that Guy thinks quite highly of you.”
“Perhaps he knows no better,” Robin mused, a half smile parting his lips. He was grateful for their friendship. They were a charming couple, seeming to be quite happy. They traveled with the court as Guy of Artois seemed indispensable to the King. Even Sarah was welcomed with opened arms even though it was known far and wide that her family was not a strong supporter of the crown.
“How long will you reside in London?” he questioned, clapping his hands with approval when the knights opposing the King's colors gained ground over their opposition.
“For the season. My husband has promised to take me to Mowbray in the fall so I might visit my parents.” She clapped vigorously in favor of her knight, her smile never wavering even though the King's victory was being threatened. “And you, how long will you be with us?”
“Only a matter of days, I am needed at Milberk. Mowbray is not terribly far out of my way. I might deliver any messages you would have for your kin,” Robin offered, scowling at the dust ridden field, thankful he was not apart of the melee. The weather had turned suffocating hot, causing the dirt on the trampled ground to rise up in a cloud of rich, thick dust that was beginning to mare the view of those who where looking on from the stands.
“How kind of you,” Sarah answered, “I could never refuse such an offer.” She shifted in her seat, struggling to keep her sights fixed on her husband. He was growing weary; she could tell by the way he was moving that something was amiss. Even so Guy stood his ground, fighting alongside his comrades as the sweltering heat beat down upon them.
“How long has it been since you visited your parents?” Robin asked smoothly. He looked for a moment to the King’s box, surely his majesty would soon call an end to this. It was not safe to fight in such horrid conditions. His majesty only continued to look on, clearly waiting for his men to have the upper hand before he called for the melee to cease.
“I returned once after I was married, two years ago. Miles, my brother, has been married since and I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting his wife.” Her smile faded as she watched her husband continue to struggle on the field.
It was not like Guy to push the limits of his abilities. The dust was rising up so thick she could scarcely see him. He was surrounded by a group of knights, only one of whom wore the King’s colors.
“Yield,” she breathed when he stumbled. She pushed to her feet when her view was obstructed by the man who sat before her. “I cannot see him,” Sarah announced to Robin who was standing by her side, his dark brows furrowed as he searched the cloud of dust before them.
The displeasure of the crowd rang out around them when the plume of dust grew so thick the fighting could hardly be seen. It was then Sarah saw Guy lying on the ground. It was her husband, she was sure of it for he wore her favor on his arm. Godwin was kneeling beside him, his helmet cast aside as he struggled to rouse his friend.
“No…no,” Sarah whispered in disbelief, leaving her place in the stands, pushing her way through the pressing crowds, hardly aware that Robin was running after her.
“My Lady Artois! Sarah, wait!” he called when she reached the stairs and he realized she was intending to make her way onto the field.
Sarah reached the bottom step and was about to duck under the rail when Robin reached out and ceased her arm, pulling her to a stop.
“You must wait, my Lady,” he urged, looking past her to where Godwin and Guy’s squire were bent over her husband.
Sarah struggled against his hold, watching in agony from afar. Guy never moved, not for all the efforts being made to rouse him.
“Let go of me, I beg you,” she pleaded, blinking back the emotion threatening to consume her.
“It is far too dangerous,” Robin answered, knowing that while men continued to fight she could be hurt.
“He is my husband, Sir, it will be he who commands me to leave his side, not you!” she yelled. She wrenched her arm free and ducked under the rail before Robin had the chance to stop her.
Sarah ran across the field, her wildly thumping heart drowning out the deafening sounds around her.
“Guy,” she murmured, falling to her knees beside him.
“Sarah, this is no place for you,” Godwin chided, scowling at her.
“Guy?” she pleaded, ignoring Godwin’s protests as she struggled to free her husband from his helmet. “Can you hear me?” She finally managed to remove his helmet and took his dust-streaked face between her hands, longing for him to acknowledge her. “Why will he not wake?” she screamed, looking him over for hurts, her hands stopping their search when her eyes took in a trail of blood seeping into the dirt beside him.
“Sarah, you must go,” Godwin pleaded, his eyes falling to Robin when he came to stand behind her. “Take her from this place!” Godwin ordered briskly.
“Guy! You must wake, I beg you,” Sarah cried. Her fists clutched the front of his armor, her heart refused to accept what her eyes were seeing. “Do not leave me, not now,” she pleaded, bending to rest her head on his chest, longing to feel it rise and fall as she had so many times.
She lifted her head to look down on his face. She brushed his cheek and kissed his lips as her heart broke within her. He was gone, she knew it, and yet her heart refused to listen.
“Why?” she suddenly screamed as her helplessness and loss consumed her. For the last three years Guy had been her life. She only just discovered that she carried their child. He could not leave her now, not when all they longed for was given to them.
“Sarah, you must come with me,” Robin urged, kneeling down beside her.
“He never knew,” she cried, giving into Robin's hands when he pulled her to her feet.
“Come with me.” Robin turned her from her husband, leading her back the way she’d come. He felt her body tremble as she walked beside him, and tightened the hold he had about her waist, fearful she would collapse.
This was not what she deserved. This was not what fate should have dealt a couple who were as happy as they.
Chapter Two
Madison stood in the solar looking out over the yard below. Liam left before sunrise to take his hawk for a hunt. Usually she would have gone with him, but today she felt like seeing to herself. It had been a long while since she had a quiet moment to reflect over her life and the happiness she was given. There were sad times over the years as well as happy, but they pushed through them together and were stronger because of it.
Her eldest, Miles, had stumbled across a fine woman who he made his wife and was now quite happy. Their daughter Sarah was now in London, soon to come home. She was blessed indeed.
“Lady,” Nell called from the corridor, obviously searching for her mistress.
“In here Nell,” Madison answered, her gaze still fixed out the window.
“I have been looking for you everywhere, I thought for a moment you had changed your mind and ventured out with your husband,” Nell remarked when she came to stand by the window.
“No, I just needed a bit of time by myself, that’s all.” Madison brushed a fading red curl from her face and turned to look at her lady's maid.
“It is a beautiful day,” Nell beamed before passing a folded length of parchment to her mistress.
“I thought you were journeying to Norick to visit your children?” Madison asked, looking over the missive that was addressed to both herself and her husband. The name was unfamiliar to her, Robin of Milberk, perhaps Liam knew who this man was.
“I am, I'm leaving as we speak. Are you certain you can spare me for a fortnight?” Nell asked, raising her brow in question.
“Yes, this will be your first grandchild. I can spare you for longer if only you promise to return. I don’t know what I would do without you,” Madison informed her before reaching out to give Nell a brief hug. Nell was much more than her lady's maid; she was a friend and had been since before Madison married Liam. Nell was with her through nearly every trial; she knew a great deal about her lady’s past secrets and was loyal to a fault.
“I promise to return. You might find it difficult to believe, but I am quite fond of you,” Nell pulled away, grateful for Madison's friendship. Nell knew her life would never have been the same without her.
“Get upon the road, and tell those children of yours if they are weary of being in my son's service, they are welcome to return with you. It is a horrible thing to be separated from your children and now that you have a grandchild of your own, it will be all the more difficult.”
“I will, and I will see the gifts you sent to your own grandchildren delivered,” Nell promised before turning to leave.
“Safe journey,” Madison called after her, then looked again to the letter she held, her brows furrowing into a scowl. She was certain she didn’t know this man, but if that were the case why would he address the missive to both of them.
Madison picked at the seal with the tip of her nail. She should wait for Liam, they should read this together. She left the solar and made her way to their chamber and sat in the alcove to watch for him out the window. Surely he could not be much longer.
It was a good hour later when Liam and the men he took with him rode through the gates. Madison couldn’t help but smile in spite of herself. Time changed him. Liam was no longer the young man he was when first they met, but he was still her charming Liam. His hair was streaked with gray and soft worry lines brushed across his brow, smile lines creased the corners of his eyes and she would not have him any other way.
Madison watched Liam dismount, pass his hawk over to the falconer, then make his way to the keep. She turned and looked to the door, waiting for the sound of his footsteps in the corridor.
Moments later, just as she anticipated, she could hear him making his way to their chamber. Madison felt a smile spread across her lips when the latch lifted and Liam stepped into the room.
“My wife, I thought I would find you here,” Liam informed her, crossing the distance to where she sat.
“Did you now?” Madison teased, taking in the windblown scent of him as he kissed her. “How was your morning?”
“It would have been better if you were by my side,” he assured her.
“You have already won my love, you have no need to lie. I know you enjoy your morning hunts with your men, otherwise you would have returned hours ago.”
“Not true,” Liam muttered, even though he knew she spoke truth.
“Then, my darling, why is it that when I go with you, we return in time to break our fast with the rest of the keep?” Madison asked, poking him in the chest with her finger.
“If you must know, you hunt like a woman,” Liam remarked with a wide grin.
“Maybe that’s because I am one. Give me a sword and I will beat you any day, ask me to use my skills on a defenseless animal and that’s a whole other story,” she informed him for the thousandth time.
“Madison, you eat meat do you not?” Liam asked, knowing he would gain nothing with this conversation.
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I have to think about my meal frolicking through the forest.”
“Oh wife of mine. I will never understand you,” he mused, pulling her to her feet and into his arms.
“Good, it’s my duty to keep you on your toes.” Madison wrapped her arms around his neck, loving the way it felt to be in his arms.
“Then you fulfill your duty well,” Liam assured her before kissing her on the tip of her nose. “What have you in your hand?” he questioned, pulling back to retrieve what she held out to him.
“This arrived while you were away. Do you know this man Liam?” she asked, sitting beside him on the bench in the alcove.
“I do not. I am familiar with Milberk, but not with Robin personally.” He pulled open the seal and held the missive out so they could read what was written together.
Lord and Lady Mowbray,
I am aware that we have never been formally introduced, even so, I write to you in all urgency. I regret to inform you that Guy of Artois, the husband of your daughter, has perished during a melee.
I became acquainted with your daughter and her husband on my recent journey to London and am greatly aggrieved with the current events. I have never seen a happier couple in all my days. It is a lamented loss to be sure.
You must surely know of your daughter’s distress. I will soon be leaving for Milberk and have convinced your daughter to accompany me. She needs her family. Any comfort I have to offer her at this horrid time is greatly lacking. We will leave as soon as she is well to travel. I believe we will arrive at Mowbray in less than a month. My party will take the southern road if you have a care to meet us.
You have my most solemn oath that I will look after your daughter and make all haste to bring her to her family.
Your faithful servant,
Robin of Milberk
They sat in silence looking at the careful writing on the page as though if they stared at it long enough, it might change before their eyes.
“Liam?” Madison whispered, her throat so constricted she could barely speak. She had only just been counting her blessings and was so thankful for everything they were given. “How can this be?”
“I know not,” Liam answered, unable to pull his eyes from the missive for fear he missed some vital bit of information. “We must send for Miles, he must know. He must be here.” Liam dropped his hands to his lap, knowing he must rise and make the necessary arrangements, but all he could do was sit and feel as though a bit of the ground had been pulled out from beneath him.
“I should be there,” Madison muttered, her voice filled with her tears. “She shouldn’t have to suffer this alone.”
“She will be here soon,” Liam assured her, pulling his beloved wife into his arms his own tears streaming down his face. “Our prayers will be with her until we can hold her in our arms.”
* * * * *
Sarah stood in the yard, looking to nothing while Godwin tried to convince her to stay. She'd grown weary of his pleading, but couldn't help but pity the man for trying to look after his departed friend's wife.
“You know nothing of this man, Sarah. You know not his intentions. I do not see why you will not wait until I can accompany you in the fall?” Godwin ranted, holding tightly to her arm as she waited for her carriage.
“I cannot wait until the fall, Godwin. I have told you this,” Sarah whispered, struggling to keep her wits about her.
“Then summon your family to you,” he suggested, knowing it would never be.
“You know the King would not permit my father within ten feet of him,” Sarah snapped. She knew Godwin was only looking out for her, but all she wanted was to be with her family. She didn’t care how she made her way to Mowbray, it only mattered that she was away from here.
“I do not trust him, Sarah,” Godwin informed her when her carriage pulled into the yard accompanied by her stern faced escort.
“I know, but Guy trusted him, Godwin, and now I must trust him as well,” Sarah nearly sobbed, patting Godwin's hand that gripped her arm. “I cannot stay here, not when this is where my husband was taken from me.”
“Then I wish you all speed in your journey. I will travel to Mowbray as soon as I am able,” Godwin promised.
“You are a true friend,” Sarah praised, smiling weakly at him before he helped her into the carriage, then stepped aside to allow her maid to do the same.
Godwin looked to where Robin sat on the back of his prancing mount, his distrust with the man coursing through his veins. “She is the widow of a great man, have a care not to forget that in your travels.”
“I will see her safely to her kin, you need not have fear of me,” Robin assured him. He struggled not to glare at the man before turning his mount to the gate, leading his party with him.
The Godwin Robin knew and the man who befriended Guy were two vastly different men.
Robin knew he would be more at ease when their party was well outside the city walls and Godwin's prying eyes.
Sarah gazed out the window of the carriage, offering Godwin a brief wave. All she wanted was to go home. The week she passed alone after Guy's death was the longest week of her life. Everything was a blur, her husband was buried, his affairs were put in order. His belongings were packed and sent to Artois. She remembered very little of the instruction given to her and cared even less at this particular moment. She just wanted to go home.
She was indeed grateful to Robin. He stepped up where Godwin only attempted to convince her to stay until he could escort her to her parent's keep. At first she allowed him to sway her into staying, but when Robin approached her with the offer to take her to Mowbray, she couldn’t refuse him.
No one save her maid knew of the child she carried, and now after the events of late, she found it difficult to rejoice in the telling of her news. This babe was the only thing she had left of her dear husband. How could she possibly speak of something so sacred?
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, attempting to keep her tears from falling. Guy never knew, she thought of telling him the morning of the tournament, but she only wanted to be certain before she shared news they both longed for.
For near two years they desired to conceive, but were never blessed with a child and now that their dreams were fulfilled, she would be forced to carry her joy alone.
Hours later, Robin eased the small party to a stop near the river, dismounted and passed his horse to his squire. They'd been traveling for a good part of the morning. Midday was nearly upon them, surely the women would be in need of stretching their legs.
“Lady Artois?” Robin called out as he approached the carriage. “Would you care to walk a bit as we rest the horses?” he inquired, pulling open the carriage door.
“I would, thank you.” Sarah took his hand and made her way to the ground, tipping her head up to the sunlight for a moment before offering him a weak smile. She was terribly pale to his eyes, nearly looking as though she was ill.
“Are you well, madam?” Robin questioned, his concern for her well-being thick in his voice.
“Aye, I only need a bit of fresh air. Louisa, would you kindly bring me something to eat?” Sarah asked, sending her maid in the direction of the supply wagon. “Excuse me,” she whispered as she pushed past Robin, determined to keep to her own.
Robin watched her for a moment as she wandered toward the river. He took in the hand she pressed to her temples, as the other seemed to rub at her throat. She was lying when she told him she was well, a blind man could see that she was not herself.
On the road to London, he’d seen her for who she truly is a miraculous woman, full of spirit and laughter. She rode as well as her husband, refusing to be confined to the carriage. He knew her husbands passing was a cruel blow, but now Sarah seemed even worse off than when they left this morning.
Robin kept his eye on her until the maid was by her side, and then turned to make his way back to his men. Perhaps he should not have pressed her to leave London so quickly. Perhaps she was better off where she was. In the depths of his mind he knew he was right, Sarah needed her family, she needed those who cared about her the most surrounding her. She couldn’t wait until the fall, not when she was hurting now.
“Would you have something to eat, master Robin?” Tomas asked, nodding his pale head at him as he approached. The boy had been his squire now for a good year. They were well matched the two of them, and Robin found on more than one occasion he was grateful for the boy.
“Nay lad,” Robin answered with a slight smile. He knew no other who could eat as Tomas could. Where he put the enormous amounts of food he devoured, Robin would never know.
The lad was short and stout, but hardly looked as one who overate. “Easy Tomas,” Robin chided when his squire consumed his lunch in a bite and a half. “Our supplies must last us to Milberk.”
“Aye,” Tomas laughed, pushing to his feet to see to his master’s mount. “How is Lady Artois?” Tomas inquired while he checked the animal’s gear.
“Melancholy,” Robin replied, keeping a watchful eye on the two women in the distance.
“I hate to see her thus,” Tomas continued, walking around to the opposite side of the beast.
“As do I.”
“Perhaps she might like to ride, she has her horse, my Lord. Mayhap that would lift her spirits some,” Tomas suggested.
“I do not think it will be as easy as that, but I’m sure she would appreciate your kind thought. Let us be on our way,” Robin called out to his men.
He made his way back to the carriage to speak with Sarah before they were once again on the road.
Robin helped her maid mount the steps, then took hold of Sarah’s hand and turned her to face him. He longed to ease her pain in anyway he could, even if it was passing along his squire’s suggestion.
“Would you wish to ride for while?” Robin asked, taking in the sickly pallor of her skin and the hollow depths of her pale blue eyes.
“My thanks, but I am well enough in the carriage,” Sarah assured him.
“As you wish, but if at any moment you should change your mind, inform me.” He watched her nod before she turned and made her way into the carriage.
There was something about her that was changed, something more than the shock and sorrow of losing her husband.
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